The ups and downs...

Well, the last few weeks have been a little more difficult to manage. Here is some news of recent developments:

I found out I have Gestational Diabetes - YUCK! It was a real downer for a while, but then I decided to embrace the challenge and have really enjoyed playing chemist - taking my blood and balancing my carbs/sugars, exercise, ketones. It has really helped me to become more aware of my body and how I can take care of baby! She is still kicking up a storm and is right on target with her weight. We had a sonogram last week and found out that she is now 5 pounds! What a big little girl already - that kind of freaked me out until the Dr said she was "average" in her weight. PHHHEW! I was thinking I might have a 10-12 lb'er - something that is definately a risk with GD.

So, we also found out some additional news at the Dr's office when we had the sonogram. The Dr spent a lot of time looking the baby over. After he checked her measurements he moved over to the organs. When he came to the kidneys he paused for a while and then shared with us that there is an abnormality with the baby's left kidney. Of course, a surge of fear swept over me and it took me a moment to "come back down" to the present moment. Ryan remained cool the whole time and listened (probably w/o as much emotion) to the Dr as he told us that this type of abnormality may be nothing or it may be something. He also shared with us that if he were God and had a long list of abnormalities to choose from, he would choose this one. This actually made us feel better. After he drew us a diagram and talked with us about the potential effects, he told us that he wanted to do a few things:
1st: refer us to a Urologist over at Children's Hospital so that we can get more information and a better idea of what we may encounter down the road.
2nd: He wants me to come back weekly so that he can monitor the baby's amniotic fluid. He said that the baby's urine output is directly related to her kidney's. If there was a signal for distress, we would know by watching the amniotic fluid.

So, it has been a week with a lot of information! It's been hard at times - I've felt disconnected from my body, out of control, fearful, frustrated, and overwhelmed. But then there have also been some really sweet times with Ryan. He has been so emotionally constant throughout all of this news and I really feel that I have been able to draw on his strength in my weakest moments. Of course, the SW in me is wondering "are you in denial?" (ha, ha, ha). But seriously, his sense of calmness has really ben soothing and comforting. Kid of funny: I'm good at handling other people's chaos but it's always challenging to handle my own.

OK - well that's it for now. My mom is coming in on Wednesday - I am so ready for her to be here and my Dad will be here the following week. It will be nice to have them here for the extra support. Ryan's also heading out of town on Wednesday for a week - he'll be supervising the night shift - a first for him, but will hopefully be able to take an extra day or two off when the baby comes for putting his time in...we'll see. Either way, I hope baby decides to stay put for at least another week until he returns.

So, please continue to pray for us - especially the baby's healthy development. I'll know more in the next few weeks and we'll be getting more information. Thanks everyone for your support. Probably the best way to care for us from here on out is to just listen and offer encouragment without giving advice. Best question to ask: How can I be praying for you ;).

Love, K